Why global warming is bullshit

Hey guys ^o^ long time no see~

Sorry for the lack of updates, I've been really bogged down lately by the burden that is real life. Seriously, the biggest obstacles in the way of the advancement of human civilizations are sleep and hunger T_T

We're all victims of the disease where the energy in our body depletes and eventually runs out, requiring us to sustain ourselves with nutrients from food sources >_<

As if that's not enough, every human is infected from birth with the affliction of sleep. With this horrible disease we are never able to perform 100%, our bodies shutting down to a state of near-death for at least a third of our everyday lives, foreshadowing us with the glimpse of the eventual death that we're cursed with thanks to this plague named sleep v_v

...but we're supposed to talk about global warming today, aren't we? ^o^

Unlike my other long ass articles, I'm going to start with the conclusion today :3

Human beings are too full of themselves. How, can a race that has been around for only 2 million years with a measly recorded history of two thousand years hope to effect a self-sufficient ecosystem that has been functioning for billions of years?

Sure, you can point to the massive pollution and depletion of the ozone layer of the earth that's directly caused by our sins. I'll point out to you that to the Earth, its just a bad case of skin disease. At worst, its just a flesh wound ^^

The world is ending next year, they say. They point to the wars and the natural disasters happening en large throughout our world and forecast armageddon. Why does that word need to be capitalized anyway? I have no respect for religion :P Maybe I should get one considering the world's going to end next year, right?

Didn't I just say that its boastful to claim that humanity can effect the earth in any permanent way? That's right. But the possibility that the world will end next year is just as real as the possibility that there is a god, a heaven, and a hell *_*

What most people misunderstand is that whenever we say that the end of the world is near, we actually mean that the end of humanity is near. Understandable, though, as to quote renown philosopher Michael Jackson; we are the world~ we are the future~ *o* So no us, no world :(

Same goes when the politicians and environmentalists that claim global warming will destroy the world *o* Our good ol' mother earth wouldn't be bothered even a bit. She'll just shrug off humanity and start a new cycle ^o^ Maybe cockroaches :3 Environmentalists aren't warning that the world will be destroyed, it'll just be rendered inhabitable... ..for us humans :P

Of course this all sounds very typical of me. I make a bold statement like "Global warming is bullshit!" and proceed to skillfully talk about how it is the way we perceive the destruction of the world that's causing all this hoo-hah. "But Kitsune," you'd add, feeling awkward using my internet nickname, but whatever, "that doesn't make global warming bullshit, it's still a threat!"

No. Even though I derailed completely from the title, global warming is still bullshit. You see, the earth has this amazing self-sufficient system where it maintains equilibrium naturally. You've seen it on national geographic; too many predators? They naturally starve to death, decreasing their numbers and allowing the prey to repopulate ^o^ 

Too much herbivores? Plants being overgrazed? The predators will boom with the increase of food supply while overpopulation increases the odds of hungry and weak herbivores, eventually lowering the number of prey :3

Put an ice cube in room temperature, it melts into water to achieve equilibrium with it's surroundings ^o^ Pee in Antartica, it freezes in no time as equilibrium evenly distributes its heat away~

Not many people know the official story of how the dinosaurs died out. As a huge fan of dinosaurs (I've drawn a fair share of cicaks in my youth :3), I've eventually discovered how dinosaurs became extinct, and unlike most official flashy versions, they died a slow and eventual death v_v such is the way of nature.

Approximately 300 million years ago, at the beginning of the age of the dinosaurs, the earth was hot. It was so freaking hot that if we were from that time, we would be worried about global cooling rather than global warming. Today's tropical climate that humans complain to be extremely hot and humid and eww I'm so sweaty is a cool breezy day compared to a temperate day during the Jurassic period ^o^

It is this extremely hot environment that dinosaurs, being the huge-ass cold-blooded lizards, were able to thrive in. If a dinosaur were to exist in today's environment, it would be hard pressed to move even a mile thanks to the amount of heat it needed to amass in order to operate its cold-blooded massive body.

In English, hot weather = cold blooded monsters can move, too hot for mamals because they'll be sweating to death = Welcome to the age of the dinosaurs ^O^!

Back then, the earth was young and still breaking out. Lots of volcanic eruptions happened and I can tell you that a massive prehistoric volcanic eruption causes more air pollution than America can hope to produce in that single moment. The dust would clog the skies for days, the heat and carbon monoxide exhumed from the earth's core would tear a massive hole in the ozone for years. Nature does 'gobal warming' better than we humans could ever hope to do.

Here's where I introduce my pendulum analogy. I believe that the earth's climate is always moving towards an equilibrium, like a pendulum, swinging from extreme to extreme, losing momentum only slightly with every pass and stopping only after many, many swings ^o^

What this means is that the earth has been swinging from ice-age to lava-age consistently in a cycle that spans millions of years, hundreds of times longer than the time where our little species has existed :D The age of the dinosaurs was the peak of that lava-age, and hundreds of millions of years later, it slowly shifted to colder climates and the infamous ice-age (which has spawned the four-part and counting movie franchise).

The evidence of the gradual cooling of the earth and how it played a role in ending the reign of the dinosaurs is well documented ^o^ Long story short, the earth got colder, dinosaurs weren't able to move well, the bottom of the food chain, the plants, were adapting to the colder weather (leafy plants evolving to thin pines and shoots to maintain heat and etc) and the large sauropods (leaf eating dinosaurs) weren't able to adapt quickly enough, dying out and pulling the rug out under the dinosaur food chain ;_;

Smaller dinosaurs were able to adapt quicker and evolved feathers. Don't laugh, its true. Most of the small velopciraptor type dinosaurs had feathers towards the end of the age of dinosaurs to allow their bodies to retain heat admits the cooling weather. Yes, they evolved into birds *o*

The now cooler environment allowed a new breed of animals that are more well suited to cold conditions to thrive - the warm blooded mamals. And so the age of the mamoth and the bison began ^o^ At least until a mutant race of aquatic monkeys evolved to use tools and restructured the way the food chain worked by totally dominating it... :P

Coming back to global warming, though. The ice-age was the end of the cold extreme of the pendulum, and it has thus begun to swing back towards the hot extreme ^^ So it is only natural the the world will be getting gradually warmer and warmer :3 

It moves at a glacial pace, though, as I said before, it is a process that spans millions upon millions of years... and the poor human mind is too impatient and incapable of thinking on such a large scale. Its pretty understandable, though, as it is infinitely difficult for a fly, that measures its lifespan by days, to understand the concept of time through the eyes of a tree, that measures its lifespan by hundreds of years.

So in a nutshell, that is why global warming is bullshit. Even if fossil fuels were banned tomorrow and everyone used recyclable, environmentally friendly energy sources and lived a healthy lifestyle, the earth would still get warmer and warmer every year~ until it reaches the next lava-age.. which none of us, not even our grandchildren, would be around to experience ^_^

"Global warming", then, is just a very very convenient propaganda tool by corporations and political parties to rally people to their sides, act as if they're doing something, and tell people what to do. I'm not saying everyone that advocates global warming is a big con artist or is trying to control what you buy or charge you more money for something that's 'environmentally friendly', some people truly believe with all their hearts and souls that global warming is a real threat to us all ;_; They're really sincere. Its really sweet and all, but unfortunately its all bullshit. Actually, its a lot like religion, really ;)