Storytime ^o^

Once upon a time, there were three bears; a mama bear, a papa bear, and a wee little tiny baby bear. They lived in a cottage in a forest and enjoyed taking long walks to the other side of the forest for no apparent reason. They’re bears, after all.

One day, when they were off on their little stroll, a young lady with beautiful golden locks sneaked into their cottage. She envied the bears’ lavish cottage lifestyle and longed to taste porridge, sit on chairs and lie down on beds.

It was only a little while before Goldilocks discovered that not all chairs were comfortable. She sat on papa bear’s chair and found it way too rough. She tried sitting on mama bear’s and sunk into it because it was too soft. Half an hour later, she managed to climb out of the chair and sat on baby bear’s chair and it felt good.

Sitting on chairs does work up an appetite, so Goldilocks skipped off to the dining table to sample the fine porridge sitting on the table. She was too excited and bumped into the table, knocking all three bowls onto the floor.

“Oh no!” she cried, “Whatever should I do now?”

A quick glance around showed no cleaning utensils to help ail her problem, so she squatted down depressingly next to the puddle of porridge and sighed.

“And I wanted to taste the porridge so badly…” she sulked as she twirled her finger in the porridge.

One of Goldilocks’ redeeming traits was her uncanny ability to be overwhelmingly optimistic, so she bounced right back up and made her way upstairs to try out the beds instead. She licked the porridge off her finger and was surprised that it tasted pretty darn good~

“This feels like shopping at Ikea…” she mumbled to the floor. “Oh wow, three beds!”

She jumped onto papa bear’s bed and sprained her ankle. “Oww! ..maybe it’s a table..” she complained while climbing onto mama bear’s bed.

Mama bear’s bed was like any ordinary bed, but it smelled weird. Goldilocks didn’t feel very comfortable and soon snuck into baby bear’s bed and it was heavenly.

She soon fell into a deep slumber with hopes that her sprained ankle will heal by the time she wakes up. “Goonite..” she dozed off.

* * *

Seven hundred years later, a young girl wearing a red hood skittered hastily across the very same forest.

Little Red Riding Hood (LRRH) was in a rush to see her ill grandmother. She was a kind young girl but had a serious case of farsightedness. She could hardly see anything within a hundred meters of her and often bumped into walls or tripped on toadstools.

Her Red Riding Hood™ served the same purpose as the red light on a traffic light, telling people to STOP at sight to let her through. It also adhered to nature’s color scheme of ‘extremely dangerous’ as LRRH’s farsightedness lets her be one of the most fearless creatures in the land, because she couldn’t see what she was fighting. You don’t fear what you don’t see.

So by sheer fate, LRRH stumbled into the now deserted three bears’ cottage thinking that it was her grandmother’s little hut. “Wow, this place certainly grew.” She wondered, tiptoeing to reach the doorknob. Oh yeah, LRRH was also called ‘Little’ for a reason; she was half the size of a normal human girl. Floats like a butterfly, stings like a bee.

“Grandma~ its Little Red Riding Hood~ ^o^” she called out and head straight up to where she thought was her grandmother’s bed.

She found her grandmother sleeping as usual, and noticed the striking golden hair crowning the bed. “Grandma, you did your hair~” she shook her grandmother awake endearingly.

After what felt like four hours of shaking, Goldilocks opened her eyes for the first time in seven hundred years and stared at the little girl who was shaking her.

“Grandma! What big eyes you have! *o*”

Goldilocks responded with a resounding yawn.

“Grandma! What big teeth you have! @o@”

And the two girls promptly passed out into a coma due to the stench of Goldilocks’ mouth.

* * *

Moral of the story: Remember to brush your teeth before you sleep, kids! >O<