The Most Dangerous Guy to Introduce to Your Girlfriend

The most dangerous guy to introduce to your girlfriend is actually, quite ironically, not dangerous at all towards the health of your relationship :3

There isn't a real physical characteristic that defines the most dangerous guy to introduce to your girlfriend, but dangerously good looks that appeal to the general preference of your girlfriend might be a good place to start.

What really defines the most dangerous guy to introduce to your girlfriend is his uncanny ability to socialize almost effortlessly with any and all girls. His conversations with them flows like honey down the throat and his very presence demands the attention of most, if not all, girls around him.

Most guys might know who I'm talking about, if you don't, you either are helplessly blur, socially awkward to begin with or are one yourself ^o^ Most guys hate him. Or you, if you're the latter. By the way if there are more than 2 options, should it be 'latterest' instead? Hmm

But yeah, the most dangerous guy to introduce to your girlfriend, is not dangerous at all.

He's like a butterfly, but doesn't sting like a bee.

Did you know that butterflies are actually considered horribly terrifying to birds? The reason of the patterns on a butterflies wings are mainly to scare away predators into thinking that their entire wingspan is actually their FACE @O@ BOOM I'm so huge and intimidating~~ and the bird goes "HO SHIT HALP ToT" and flies away in fear~ ^o^

... *cough* ..yeaaah.. butterfly.., intimidating, very good looking, sucking nectar out of flowers..? Birds.. all guys have a bird, right..? Nice analogy, kitsu~ Ehe..hehehe.. ..heh..

-_____________-

WHOA where did that came from, right? ^_^; anyways,

seriously, butterflies are not dangerous at all :| Caterpillars are DISGUSTING though! >_< YUCK!

...that's why the most dangerous guy to introduce to your girlfriend, is not dangerous at all ^_^ Take it easy, guys :D The end~

I seriously don't know which is scarier;
the intimidating wing patterns...
OR ITS ORIGINAL FACE @O@
SERIOUSLY WTF?! DAMN SCARY WEI

Ok, ok. Seriously. The reason why the most dangerous guy to introduce to your girlfriend (a.k.a. The Butterfly) is because, long story short, he's the type of guy that fits the criteria of 'best friend that's a guy and is gay' (except, of course, he isn't gay.. if he was he'd be The Most Dangerous Guy to Introduce to Your Boyfriend, right?)

...is that butterfly clipart shivering?! It looks like a poor guy got tied up in neon wires with balls on his head and is attached with stained glass wings and forced to be some kind of sick.. monument. WTF IS THIS DOING AS A CLIPART?!?!?!?!!!! THINK OF THE CHILDREN @O@;;;;

Fucking scary shit. Anyways. This guy might be labeled as the guy that's most dangerous to introduce to your girlfriend, but you're lucky to even have a girlfriend. This guy couldn't get one even if he tried his best!

What? That doesn't make sense?

Nothing in this world ever makes sense, really v_v ( I MEAN LOOK AT THAT CLIPART @___@) This guy might be a wizard when it comes to making girls laugh, but he can't for the life of him get himself a girlfriend. Every girl he confesses to turns him down, though more often than not, though very nicely.. with award winning lines like "Sorry.. but you're a really nice guy, your future girlfriend will be really happy to have you.." and "I'm sure you can get a good girlfriend in the future :)"

Thing is, The Butterfly checks everything on most girl's lists.... everything except 'boyfriend material', and checks the worst criteria to check ever - 'best friend material'. He can tell you the exact meaning of the phrase "so close, yet so far T_T" (emoticon sold separately)

Oh the irony, this guy makes every guy he knows insecure, and yet he gets friendzoned by each and every girl he's attracted to. Tragic is the word on this guy's car registration plate, and he's stuck driving it for the rest of his life :\

He's a great guy, really. And he's helped many a girl get through shit and many a tough times. Heck, he might even be a maid of honor at his best friend's wedding~ But there isn't any Happy Ending in store for him down the road.. at least until he decides to stop driving, and start getting on a train *_*

Not my train (of thought), though, because it just fucking derailed and I've forgotten what I was trying to say about The Butterfly. Sorry about that. I blame the clipart @____@ *still in chronic shock* I'm going to go lie down, brb

we interrupt your regularly scheduled program to bring you a special message:

Hi there dear blog reader,

I would like to take this chance to formally apologize to you...

...for not being able to stop myself from updating my blogs anymore T_T

I've been trying really hard, really. But its so hard...

I was suffering from withdrawal, I even wasted countless of hours and money in the cyber cafe, almost blogging but somehow managing to sucessfully stop myself in the end

There was, however, once or twice where I squeaked in one or two entries though.. luckily they were subpar...

But yeah, I've had enough, I can't take it anymore

I'm gonna start blogging again T_T

Sorry you all have to suffer my presence once again, but some things just can't be helped, you know?

I hope you understand, all three of you ;_;

Forever considerate towards you,
kitsune                    

This blogpost is brought to you by the letter 9

Hi there,

How are you? I'm writing to you to let you know that I'm not blogging often anymore because I'm afraid that what I write might be used as a basis for lost souls to start a religion, which would make me their god/prophet and I'm afraid of responsibility and/or commitment.

Don't worry I was just kidding ^o^ Hope to hear from you soon!

Sincerely,

kitsune  

Angels and Demons

Imagine if there are two groups of people, who do not necessarily know of each others existence, but do almost the same thing.

Well, not really the same thing, but to me it feels like the same thing. More like two different sides of the same coin :O Different, but ultimately the same?

One of these groups are like angels, they're so kind hearted!

They go around helping people in need ^o^

See a person carrying way too many things at the grocery store? They'll offer to help carry the things back to the car ^o^

See a kid crying in public because she's lost? They'll take responsibility for her and take care of her till she gets married and look for her parents, even if it takes days to do so!

They might even come across a sick person or a depressed person or just someone who seems to not have a good day and try to cheer them up, trying to do anything to make the person feel better (even if they get punched in the process).

What do they get out of it? Nothing. Nothing except the overwhelming feeling of happiness that comes when you realize that you've helped make someone's life a little bit better. And the satisfying feeling that you've done something good ^_^

Is that nothing? I don't think so. Those feelings are certainly something. Which is why I don't believe in the idea that charity and selflessness exists. Everyone's selfish in a way and these people do it to make themselves feel better :D It doesn't make what they do bad, though, its still an admirable thing ^o^

But its not just that, I guess. There must be some other kind of motivation, right? I know I just said that they do it to make themselves feel good, but I suspect that that is only true at a subconscious level for most, if not all :3

So what else? I think its because they believe that the world can actually be a better place if people were nicer and kinder to each other, and looked out for one another ^_^ they also have enough faith that if they initiated such acts of kindness, it would cascade into a chain of kindness that'll result in a happier world~ ...or they just get a kick out of doing it XD

And then theres this group that are like demons.

These people just go around doing random things that, for lack of better terms, give other people more work to do. Or they just disturb people around them.

You know that poor cleaner that mops at the most nonsensical time - when the shopping complex is full of people? These guys just walk all over where the cleaner just mopped, undoing all the work and requiring another go through.

They might see a security guard dozing off in front of a jewelry shop and immediately try to rob the shop, without any guns! Just shouting out loud and acting as if they are a threat. Their weapons are only their confidence. They get in a ton of trouble, of course.

They might even go so far to hit on a girl that seems bored but later get beaten up by her boyfriend that showed up later. She was just waiting for him. Whoops. No matter, they didn't intend to get anything anyway.


Why do these troublemakers even exist? How the hell can I even think that they're the other side of the coin that the angels reside on? Its because of their motivations.

They, too, want to make the world a better place. Well, to be more precise, a more interesting place. The world is such a boring place when everything goes according to plan, so these are the guys who will mess things up. Chaos is the name of the game and it makes everyone's lives more interesting.

Nobody updates their facebook or twitter with the same old things that happens everyday. In fact, even if they did, they would project an image of being boring and it would sorely lower their self esteem as an individual without anything interesting happening in their lives.

So these troublemakers spice up peoples lives by throwing a wrench into the gears of normal, mundane life. They fuck up people's well laid plans and cause trouble wherever they go. They get into trouble, they suffer the consequences, but they feel happy seeing the ripples of their actions spread far and wide.

They believe that subconsciously, the people who they're giving trouble to are thankful that they now have something different to contend with, something new and interesting to do. Their complaints on their facebook walls and twitter feeds are evidences of that, stating to the world that hey, this unfortunate thing happened to me, I'm different! and I need pity .o. and people will pity them, and they will receive attention and love~

To the group thats like demons, this is what fulfills them and drives them to inject more excitement into people's lives~ To know that they are the source of excitement and newsworthy stuffs, everyone's singing their praises indirectly, and it feeds their ego like no other *o*


So.. yeah, imagine that. Kinda bizarre, huh? ^o^ I swear it sounded infinitely more interesting and sensible in my head... thats what you get if you're out of practice, I guess :\ gotta get back into the groove of blogging >o<9

Secrete Monosodium Glutamate

Between g and j
Between o and u
Between Alt and Alt
Between r and y
Between j and g
Between r and w
Between e and t
Between w and r
Alt plus 1

^o^

My twitter username is

Between j and l
Between o and u
Between r and y
Between i and y
Between a and d
Between b and m
Between r and w

^w^

The three brothers

For those of you who were looking for what happened to the three bears in the previous post, look no further...

Today's story, on the other hand, is a lot more... philosophical? I dunno, its certainly a lot more 'serious' sounding :3 Without further ado;

The Three Brothers

A long time ago, there were three brothers.

They all grew up in the same neighborhood and went to the same schools. They were really bright kids and had really good ideas and intentions to make the world a better place.

Because they originated from the same school of thought, it would've been totally awesome if they worked together towards their common goal, and in hindsight it seems only logical to do so. But you know what they say, hindsight is 20/20 while foresight is blind.

So eventually, due to certain small differences in their methods, the brothers eventually converged towards their own seperate paths.

The eldest brother was the kindest of them all, but he was not very enterprising. He had, however, noble intentions and had a very sound basic framework on how to carry out said noble intentions, a trait actually shared by all three brothers.

The problem (though it could be argued that it might be a blessing in this case) with the eldest brother, lets call him J, is that he did not have big ambitions and was a lot more passive compared to his brothers. This would play a big part in their future where J gets pushed around and bullied by not just his friends but even his brothers as well

Many still followed J and his laid-back ways towards making the world a better place, some of them proving to be the most loyal followers that stuck with him through the hardest of times.

The second brother, on the other hand, was very enterprising and had the gift of communicating to people and coaxing them into subscribing to his methods. In other words, he was the perfect PR guy of his time. Lets call him C. C was very influential and spread his ideals far and wide. He is by far the most successful of the three but also the most tainted with.. unethical methods.

You see, even though they all meant well and had the main goal to make the world a better place, C had a lot less ethics compared to his brothers and would go to any lengths to persuade others to his ways. To continue with the analogies, C would've been an unbelievable successful businessman if he were alive today, as he packaged and sold his idea very well.

The youngest brother, which we would refer to as M, was ironically stuck between his two elder brothers in terms of his abilities. He had a lot of the same qualities of C, but did not possess his elder brother's ability to persuade others.

M was, however, unbelievably daring and had a lot of self confidence in himself. His methods were lined out perfectly as a perfect guideline that if followed, would eventually result in the ideal world. Like his brothers before him, many subscribed to his ideals, which were wonderfully easy as they seemed only instructions to be followed and requires almost zero effort in decision making.

Due to the perscriptive nature of M's methods, he was also very pushy and seemingly narrow minded, alienating whomever and whatever that stood in his way and even exorts to extreme acts sometimes, which were justified by the fact that following his plan would eventually make everything better, even if it meant sacrifices had to be made.

It wasn't long before C and M's ideals would clash and resulted in unresolved bad blood between the two brothers. The two faught over everything and eventually took it out on their eldest brother as well, who put up very little resistance anyway.

It is unbelievably ironic when one looks at the big picture of the events that happen and realize that at their core, all three brothers have the exact same intentions and subscribe to the same basic ideas, but could not work together at all due to seemingly petty differences.

Sometimes, it is those small, insignificant differences that creates the biggest conflicts.

This is why seemingly simple ideas like 'world peace' are horrendously difficult to achieve, I guess ^o^;

Storytime ^o^

Once upon a time, there were three bears; a mama bear, a papa bear, and a wee little tiny baby bear. They lived in a cottage in a forest and enjoyed taking long walks to the other side of the forest for no apparent reason. They’re bears, after all.

One day, when they were off on their little stroll, a young lady with beautiful golden locks sneaked into their cottage. She envied the bears’ lavish cottage lifestyle and longed to taste porridge, sit on chairs and lie down on beds.

It was only a little while before Goldilocks discovered that not all chairs were comfortable. She sat on papa bear’s chair and found it way too rough. She tried sitting on mama bear’s and sunk into it because it was too soft. Half an hour later, she managed to climb out of the chair and sat on baby bear’s chair and it felt good.

Sitting on chairs does work up an appetite, so Goldilocks skipped off to the dining table to sample the fine porridge sitting on the table. She was too excited and bumped into the table, knocking all three bowls onto the floor.

“Oh no!” she cried, “Whatever should I do now?”

A quick glance around showed no cleaning utensils to help ail her problem, so she squatted down depressingly next to the puddle of porridge and sighed.

“And I wanted to taste the porridge so badly…” she sulked as she twirled her finger in the porridge.

One of Goldilocks’ redeeming traits was her uncanny ability to be overwhelmingly optimistic, so she bounced right back up and made her way upstairs to try out the beds instead. She licked the porridge off her finger and was surprised that it tasted pretty darn good~

“This feels like shopping at Ikea…” she mumbled to the floor. “Oh wow, three beds!”

She jumped onto papa bear’s bed and sprained her ankle. “Oww! ..maybe it’s a table..” she complained while climbing onto mama bear’s bed.

Mama bear’s bed was like any ordinary bed, but it smelled weird. Goldilocks didn’t feel very comfortable and soon snuck into baby bear’s bed and it was heavenly.

She soon fell into a deep slumber with hopes that her sprained ankle will heal by the time she wakes up. “Goonite..” she dozed off.

* * *

Seven hundred years later, a young girl wearing a red hood skittered hastily across the very same forest.

Little Red Riding Hood (LRRH) was in a rush to see her ill grandmother. She was a kind young girl but had a serious case of farsightedness. She could hardly see anything within a hundred meters of her and often bumped into walls or tripped on toadstools.

Her Red Riding Hood™ served the same purpose as the red light on a traffic light, telling people to STOP at sight to let her through. It also adhered to nature’s color scheme of ‘extremely dangerous’ as LRRH’s farsightedness lets her be one of the most fearless creatures in the land, because she couldn’t see what she was fighting. You don’t fear what you don’t see.

So by sheer fate, LRRH stumbled into the now deserted three bears’ cottage thinking that it was her grandmother’s little hut. “Wow, this place certainly grew.” She wondered, tiptoeing to reach the doorknob. Oh yeah, LRRH was also called ‘Little’ for a reason; she was half the size of a normal human girl. Floats like a butterfly, stings like a bee.

“Grandma~ its Little Red Riding Hood~ ^o^” she called out and head straight up to where she thought was her grandmother’s bed.

She found her grandmother sleeping as usual, and noticed the striking golden hair crowning the bed. “Grandma, you did your hair~” she shook her grandmother awake endearingly.

After what felt like four hours of shaking, Goldilocks opened her eyes for the first time in seven hundred years and stared at the little girl who was shaking her.

“Grandma! What big eyes you have! *o*”

Goldilocks responded with a resounding yawn.

“Grandma! What big teeth you have! @o@”

And the two girls promptly passed out into a coma due to the stench of Goldilocks’ mouth.

* * *

Moral of the story: Remember to brush your teeth before you sleep, kids! >O<