The pretentious girl is that girl who typically tries her best to fit in to the conversation and/or the people around her.
She's kind of a chameleon, but instead of following people's decisions, the pretentious girl is defined more by her characteristic ability to go along with almost any topic of conversation.
Aspiring pretentious girls, however, have trouble getting into conversations due to the noticeable lack in their basic knowledge arsenal and resort to the unbelievably useful skill of pretending-to-know-what-you're-talking-about :D
While this skill is one widely used by many, and when executed properly allows the user to assimilate herself easily into the group, other people who actually know about the topic can easily spot a pretentious girl.
Common cues to look out for are an absolute lack of definitive terms or subjects, with a lot of fillers and uh, like, you know, like, you know? Yeah, like, that. Yeah. This skill relies heavily on the other person to fill in their content for them.
Wouldn't this be really obvious? Yes, it is. However, most skillful pretentious girls manage to camouflage this by acting as if they can't really remember what they want to say and suddenly remember with an 'EUREKA!' expression when you 'remind' them ^_^
That's another visual cue for the pretentious girl; an arsenal full of big reactions and expressions. I guess its more often characterized as 'trying too hard', overreacting to things like, OMG~ REALLY? LOL? XD at something rather miniscule.
The most pitiful thing about pretentious girls is that they often convince absolutely nobody.. other than themselves, appearing to look really desperate and.. stupid, for the lack of a more.. neutral term T_T sorry
Pretentious girls are often shunned in society for exactly that, being pretentious. Nobody likes a fake, right? But for every pretentious girls that are ostracized by society, there are at least two more who manage to slip under the collective judgmental eye.
I'm not trying to weed them out or say that pretentious girls are bad, though. They're actually very misunderstood and above everything else, very pitiful indeed :( Its important to understand that the goal of a pretentious girl is solely to fit in and be part of the group and ride whatever wave that's happening ^o^
Unlike other psychographics or archetypes out there, pretentious girls have a very simple flaw that is easily overcome by being with friends that accept her for who she is, and that its okay to not know anything about the conversation but still join in.. as a listener ^o^ Then the next time, she'll be able to join in on it~
Tell a pretentious girl that you realize that she's pretending and she might react from being really embarrassed to in total denial, then you soothe her with the fact that its okay, there's no need to pretend ^_^ and then she says really? ;o; and is touched by the fact that someone accepts her for the airhead she is and... yay *o* friends forever~
But I wouldn't do that >< if I did, pretentious girls will become an endangered species and.. we need to preserve the variety of social archetypes in our societal fauna, right? *o* (a post debating variety vs standardization should come soon.. reminder to self reminder to self -w-)
I'm beginning to sound like an old record, but really, the most important thing about human relationships is the act of understanding where the other party is coming from and then see things from their perspective ^o^ Solves a lot of problems... though not everything. Maybe next week I should try to cover one that can't be solved even if you understand where they're coming from.. :O
Showing posts with label relationships. Show all posts
Showing posts with label relationships. Show all posts
Friday, April 29, 2011
Friday, April 15, 2011
The Most Dangerous Guy to Introduce to Your Girlfriend
The most dangerous guy to introduce to your girlfriend is actually, quite ironically, not dangerous at all towards the health of your relationship :3
There isn't a real physical characteristic that defines the most dangerous guy to introduce to your girlfriend, but dangerously good looks that appeal to the general preference of your girlfriend might be a good place to start.
What really defines the most dangerous guy to introduce to your girlfriend is his uncanny ability to socialize almost effortlessly with any and all girls. His conversations with them flows like honey down the throat and his very presence demands the attention of most, if not all, girls around him.
Most guys might know who I'm talking about, if you don't, you either are helplessly blur, socially awkward to begin with or are one yourself ^o^ Most guys hate him. Or you, if you're the latter. By the way if there are more than 2 options, should it be 'latterest' instead? Hmm
But yeah, the most dangerous guy to introduce to your girlfriend, is not dangerous at all.
He's like a butterfly, but doesn't sting like a bee.
Did you know that butterflies are actually considered horribly terrifying to birds? The reason of the patterns on a butterflies wings are mainly to scare away predators into thinking that their entire wingspan is actually their FACE @O@ BOOM I'm so huge and intimidating~~ and the bird goes "HO SHIT HALP ToT" and flies away in fear~ ^o^
... *cough* ..yeaaah.. butterfly.., intimidating, very good looking, sucking nectar out of flowers..? Birds.. all guys have a bird, right..? Nice analogy, kitsu~ Ehe..hehehe.. ..heh..
-_____________-
WHOA where did that came from, right? ^_^; anyways,
seriously, butterflies are not dangerous at all :| Caterpillars are DISGUSTING though! >_< YUCK!
...that's why the most dangerous guy to introduce to your girlfriend, is not dangerous at all ^_^ Take it easy, guys :D The end~
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| I seriously don't know which is scarier; the intimidating wing patterns... OR ITS ORIGINAL FACE @O@ SERIOUSLY WTF?! DAMN SCARY WEI |
Ok, ok. Seriously. The reason why the most dangerous guy to introduce to your girlfriend (a.k.a. The Butterfly) is because, long story short, he's the type of guy that fits the criteria of 'best friend that's a guy and is gay' (except, of course, he isn't gay.. if he was he'd be The Most Dangerous Guy to Introduce to Your Boyfriend, right?)
...is that butterfly clipart shivering?! It looks like a poor guy got tied up in neon wires with balls on his head and is attached with stained glass wings and forced to be some kind of sick.. monument. WTF IS THIS DOING AS A CLIPART?!?!?!?!!!! THINK OF THE CHILDREN @O@;;;;
Fucking scary shit. Anyways. This guy might be labeled as the guy that's most dangerous to introduce to your girlfriend, but you're lucky to even have a girlfriend. This guy couldn't get one even if he tried his best!
What? That doesn't make sense?
Nothing in this world ever makes sense, really v_v ( I MEAN LOOK AT THAT CLIPART @___@) This guy might be a wizard when it comes to making girls laugh, but he can't for the life of him get himself a girlfriend. Every girl he confesses to turns him down, though more often than not, though very nicely.. with award winning lines like "Sorry.. but you're a really nice guy, your future girlfriend will be really happy to have you.." and "I'm sure you can get a good girlfriend in the future :)"
Thing is, The Butterfly checks everything on most girl's lists.... everything except 'boyfriend material', and checks the worst criteria to check ever - 'best friend material'. He can tell you the exact meaning of the phrase "so close, yet so far T_T" (emoticon sold separately)
Oh the irony, this guy makes every guy he knows insecure, and yet he gets friendzoned by each and every girl he's attracted to. Tragic is the word on this guy's car registration plate, and he's stuck driving it for the rest of his life :\
He's a great guy, really. And he's helped many a girl get through shit and many a tough times. Heck, he might even be a maid of honor at his best friend's wedding~ But there isn't any Happy Ending in store for him down the road.. at least until he decides to stop driving, and start getting on a train *_*
Not my train (of thought), though, because it just fucking derailed and I've forgotten what I was trying to say about The Butterfly. Sorry about that. I blame the clipart @____@ *still in chronic shock* I'm going to go lie down, brb
Sunday, March 6, 2011
The Chameleon
What is a chameleon?
A chameleon is a person named after their amazing adaptability towards their surroundings.
Most of us are able to identify chameleons whenever we see a person that unconditionally accepts and follows whatever the other person wants and does. What to eat? Well what do you fell like eating? Lets go eat that ^o^ Maybe they'll even order the exact same foods as you. The might even go so far as to watch movies that they'll never ever watch on their own will, but watch because you want to watch.
While this conformity makes the chameleon a perfect partner to being around just to have company, like every other archetype, this characteristic of the chameleon can be very troublesome.
First of all, you can never ever rely on a chameleon to make a decision. You'll always have to make the first move and the chameleon will follow. Happily ^o^
But are chameleons really happy?
We'd have to look a lot deeper than just asking them "hey are you happy?" Because they'd just ask you "well are you happy? If you're happy I'd be happy too ^_^" Bad idea :P
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| pa~ddle pop~ wow~ pa~ddle pop~ yay~ super duper yummy ^O^ |
If they end up forcing themselves to change to a color that's uncomfortable to them for too long, they might snap and just like a startled chameleon, show their true colors XD Its not that these guys are fakes, though. Its really important to understand that the main motivation of color-chameleons is the (misguided) assumption that shared interests equal closer bonds, and (more dangerously) differences in interests creates distance.
No, guys. Chameleons listen up >o< If you have shared interests, great, you immediately have a common ground and can spend time doing the things you like to do the most together ^o^ But in the long run, you might be spending a little too much time seeing each other, and that might make is a little.. boring? Overwhelming? You get what I mean, right?
And if you have differences in interests, its actually a good thing ^o^ Why? A lot of people assume that having different interests would make making conversation different for the lack of topics. It's actually quite the opposite. Because if both parties really are interested in getting to know each other, it is yet another thing that would help the process of getting to know a person ^_^ nothing like learning why a person is interested in whatever they're interested in~ and how they spend their time~ Plus, you get to learn something new as well :D
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| hurp derp <__> |
The main reason why eye-chameleons are able to freely follow their friends to do anything and everything is because they don't have any preferences whatsoever. They have no stand, and no point of view. I'd blame this on education systems that mold students into receptive sponges that don't know how to think for themselves, but sometimes it's also the individual's fault. Some people are just drifters and say whatever to anything~ Its kinda good in a way, though, as they're rarely considered picky or pushy.
Ask them to make decisions, though, and you'll never get one. Eye-chameleons are always the followers in the group and never give suggestions to anything. Great if you're a leader, bad if you need a leader. The most dangerous case of an eye-chameleon is the fact that because they're always so lackadaisical, they're rarely invested in anything they do, which might include their friendship.
I make eye-chameleons sound like such useless people. Like they have no aim in life and have zero ambition XD That's kinda true.. but I'd rather think of it as people who have not found their direction in life or developed preferences in things they'd rather or rather not do. And sometimes you don't need a preference. Its cool to be able to tolerate any and every kind of music and/or people and/or language (you'd be labeled as racist otherwise :P)
There is one kind of eye-chameleon that has an ambition, though. And that's the tunnel-vision-eye-chameleon. These eye-chameleons only have one goal in life, and that's to be the ultimate follower of someone or something. The best example of this are the people that aim to be 'the best wife/husband ever' :P These people live solely for their husband or wife, and will do whatever they want and build their entire lives once they get together with their target. Break ups are the most devastating for tunnel-vision-eye-chameleons because their world literally ends as they have to start from zero and search for a new person to base their life around ;_;
I wonder if anybody would want to be a chameleon after reading what I've written here XD Its not really that bad, though. Sometimes being a chameleon is a good thing ^_^ you get to avoid almost all conflict ever. Unless someone's forcing you to make a decision :P
As always, don't judge a chameleon for its color, or the direction(s) its looking. Under all that copying and indecisiveness is a person that's not very confident in themselves and is only trying their best to be close to you~ and maybe even understand you better ^o^ it wouldn't hurt for you to understand them better as well :)
Wednesday, February 23, 2011
The Hopeless Romantic
The hopeless romantic is a young boy that grew up being enamored by love songs and ultra-sweet romantic scenes from movies and other sources of stories like comics, novels, etc. In other words, hopeless romantics grew up with the ambition of being an honorable boyfriend to a beautiful/sweet/cute girlfriend and while their friends focused on being number one in class, the best on the football team, or Pokemon Masters, they tried to mould themselves into the perfect boyfriend.
A few burnt pots and pans, the discovery of microwaveable foods and the washing machine, and an extreme makeover later, and you have an above-average-looking guy that is able to socialize with girls without the massive stuttering, blushing, or tendency to say unnecessarily inappropriate things that their other peers might suffer.
In other words, hopeless romantics are just average sociable guys that aren't female-repellent jerks.
The problem that plagues hopeless romantics and often gets them misunderstood is that they view most girls that they are (even mildly) attracted to as a potential girlfriend. While this might make them sound like jerks who are only out to get into your skirt and are not worth being friends with, lets not be judgmental.
To understand the workings of a hopeless romantic's mind is to first understand his motivations. And no, its not to get into your pants >:| Hopeless romantics are so obsessed with the desire to have a sweet and heartwarming relationship (as advertised on TV) that I can tell you that most of their focus towards the girls they are attracted to is to get together with them ..and ends there. The hurdle of getting into a relationship with a girl so difficult (provided he isn't blessed with astonishingly good looks) that what happens later is rarely considered - no reason to get his hopes up, right?
There is a very popular joke of a young boy that tries his best to impress the girls that he likes but fails all the time, until one day, he finally meets a girl that can accept him and becomes his girlfriend. His response to this was "Wow. SWEET *O* ....now what? :D"
And that, is the sad part of most relationships regarding young hopeless romantics. They don't know what to do :( and as many a hopeless romantic would discover, reality almost never turns out like what is shown on TV or written in books. Most become disappointed when their dreams become crushed after encountering their first major argument in their relationship, while a small, dangerous few try to replicate fairytale romances and end up scaring their girlfriends because they either move too fast (everything in movies are accelerated twentyfold to keep the story from being too stagnant like a documentary) are too dramatic, or have too high expectations.
In time, (and with perhaps many a heartbreak) most hopeless romantics will grow out of the phase of chasing a fairytale romance, which is often not very practical in today's cruel world. Some will continue pursuing romance, though in a more mature and sophisticated way, and by sheer force of probability, will end up happily with a girl (or guy) ^o^ Some, will become bitter and distance themselves from anything lovey-dovey :( that is, until they find someone that manages to 'heal their wounds' and revitalize them *o*
But a select few hopeless romantics will stay the way they are and (again, by sheer force of probability) might actually meet a girl (or guy) that's also a hopeless romantic (yes, for god's sake, this archetype, like all other archetypes, applies to all genders v_v) - and the stuff that can only be see in movies will magically appear in real life *o* (whether it turns into a romance, drama, tragedy or romantic comedy, I leave it to you.. and them ;D)
Friday, February 11, 2011
The Parent
The parent, like the moniker suggests, is a friend that often reminds us of our parents. In both good and bad ways. Its nice to have a caring friend that we can rely on, but at the same time, another person nagging us to do something 'for our own good' is never fun ^^;
A common characteristic of the parent is to be extraordinary caring. The parent usually worries about our well being and constantly goes out of their way to ensure that we're comfortable, safe, and happy at all times. In addition to that, they often advise us when we face problems and give us guidance. Most people are very thankful to have the parent as a friend, and oftentimes feel very secure with such a person.
However, the parent is one of the most difficult character to get into a relationship with, which is surprising considering the fact that a caring personality is a desirable characteristic. There really isn't a problem with the parent (aside from the risk of becoming overbearing like a protective parent), the thing is, it is more of a matter of difference in point of view, there is a different level of respect.
Oftentimes, the parent sees their closest friends as someone to be protected, 'don't worry, I have you under my wing~' they boldly claim. While this is honorable and all, such a mindset gets in the way of having mutual respect. I'm not saying that the parent looks down on all their friends, but they often succumb to assuming that they have to take the leading position and might sometimes impose themselves on others, trampling their peer's wishes even though they have good intentions.
In the same vein, we also tend to look at the parent on a different level. Due to their guidance and security they provide to us, we often look up to the parent and treat them with a certain level of respect. Again, while this is a good thing, it might create a barrier between us and the parent, making us unable to act naturally or be talk freely around them - and anytime we have to control your behavior around someone, we can never be completely comfortable or at ease.
What's important, then, is to achieve a sense of mutual respect. Then we can have a healthy relationship with these noble characters who give us much needed sense of security, especially away from our families~ and who knows, with mutual respect, you might be able to return the deed to them as well! Many times, (but not all!) relationships with the parent often end up becoming very close knit, but erring more towards siblings or parents (for lack of a better term) ..or like a member of an extended family :)
Friday, January 28, 2011
The Studious Girl
Almost everyone that goes (or went) to school would know the studious girl. Though nobody really knows for sure how they exactly came into existence. Most studious girls are an enigma to their school friends as the only things most people seem to know about them is that they're really smart, score really well, are very responsible, hardworking, and... studies in their free time? Gee, I don't know.. I was too busy asking her the answers for our homework.. ^^;
Studious girls are also the victims of the clark-kent-superman syndrome, where if they remove their glasses (and/or studious demeanor), they stand out supremely and attract lots of attention. It's only natural that these girls then get tons of guys lining up after them, not to mention that there are many (sick) guys who like studious (and obedient) looking girls to begin with :D;
Unfortunately, most guys get blown away by the extreme coldness of a studious girl (in the relationship department, most studious girls are shyly friendly and nice people overall ^^). The natural reaction to this is to conclude that "ah.. she's been buried in books all her life, she doesn't really know how to handle relationships.. and so she's also a little blunt.. It's okay! I'll try harder next time!!"
Hold your horses, boy. While that's often the case, there's a lot more to it. Studious girls are not stupid.. lol duh I mean, they're not living under a rock. They're more than capable of understanding about relationships and very often, they actually realize it if boys are 'going after' them. The real reason why studious girls are extremely cold towards relationships (usually), is because they don't even need it.
Most studies[1] indicate that studious girls are generally very mature and think a lot about their studies and their career, leaving little, if no time for frivolous dating and relationships. Of course, if the right opportunity[2] comes up, they'd be more than able to recognize it and there are many cases of studious girls with successful relationships. I'd also like to add that studious girls are not all stuffy and boring, no, they do know how to have fun like you and me, it's just that know when to have fun and when to.. do other (more important) stuff :P
In a relationship, studious girls are very mature and often think ahead in terms of the health and sustainability of their relationship. In some cases, she might have a very definite and clear idea of what a relationship should be, and will do her best to reinforce / live up to it. It's not an easy task to argue with a studious girl as her maturity helps her back up all her arguments sufficiently and logically. In the same vein, it takes logic and maturity to get your points across to her ^^
Basically, studious girls are pretty open and friendly girls to begin with ^^ the biggest mistake one could make is to assume that they're (social) recluses or live under a rock. It's important to get to know them more instead of asking for the answers for homework.The biggest barrier to getting to know (and understanding) studious girls is the assumption that they only thing you have in common in studies or homework (and who likes to talk about that?). They are not supplementary books, they have interests like you and me~ (though some might be geekier than others :P) don't judge a book by it's cover ;P
[1] Siew, K. (2021) People I haven't met and what they didn't tell me. Journal of Totally Made Up Stuff 9(3), 14-36
[2] That is, if she meets a mature and suitable guy. Emphasis on 'mature'
Friday, January 21, 2011
The Emotional Boy
not to be confused with the emo-kid.
The emotional boy is a peculiar kind of person. On one hand, he's as normal as you and me, but on the other, he does things that we would normally be too embarrassed to even remember doing.
When one looks upon an emotional boy, one would normally see a attractive looking boy. Emphasis on the boy part. Emotional boys are usually youthful looking and have very boyish and pretty boy looks, in contrast to the chiseled weathered manly look or the rugged, bad boy look.
Emotional boys usually seem lonely due to their nature to skew towards being loners. This is mainly due to their inherent nature to be shy, reserved, or a combination of both. They usually bottle up their feelings and keep everything to themselves.
Many a girl (and guy) have fallen pray to the natural parental instinct of wanting to protect and befriend these delicate creatures, but many have failed miserable due to the lack of comprehension between the two parties that is so required for a healthy relationship :(
In a relationship, emotional boys are extremely caring and loving, giving their partners extreme amounts of attention and care - because subconsciously, they want expect to be treated the same way. Emotional boys are often hopeless romantics and have a strong idea of how a relationship is supposed to be, resulting in tremendous amounts of expectations.
One can liken emotional boys to glass bottles, beautiful and fragile. They loves to store things inside them, but shatter dramatically when under enough pressure. Their shattered fragments easily hurt those that are close to them, and cut deep wounds in those who try to embrace them.
If one would be interested in getting close to an emotional boy, keep in mind his fragility and most importantly, try your best to understand his expectations as well as learn to recognize when he's bottling things inside him. Enough patience and experience will teach you how to exactly handle one with care and have a successful relationship ^_^
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